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Chapter 1: One lime a day keeps the reader away
-Our dear protagonist wakes up on the train to Hogwarts, only to realize he is for some reason in a bad fan-fiction...

Chapter 2: Too many Sues spoil the plot
-The protagonist finally gets a (boring) name, makes a new friend, a new enemy and a new annoying acquaintance who is in no way going to be important on the long run...

Chapter 3: Bring out the canon cannon!
-Time for something completely different...! Well, sort of. Meet Colonel Winfred Troy, Mary Sue Hunter of the Canon Enforcement Bureau, who may or may not end up being important on the long run...

Chapter 4: A wizard did it!
-In which the protagonist and co. have some laidback fun at the expense of the setting and freak out over how normal things became... It makes sense in context...

Chapter 5: We need an adult!
-A PSA chapter about the dangers of unkempt men in trench-coats snooping around teenagers in the evening... except not really.

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